I know it is crazy but I am in a complete mess.I love this men that I have a relationship with for more than two years.I moved with him to another state and left my children behind with their father. I missed them so much .Turn out that the men that I love is a completely control freak bodybuilder, use steroids and drinks and it is his way or highway.I left him in dec. last year and move back to my original state. I have been suffering since that day cause I love him so much and he loves me too but I did not want to be with someone who takes my free doom away and I need to devote 100% of my time to him.Since, I left he send emails everyday and I call him twice a week just like friends but I keep crying and he keeps crying on the other side. Well, I am back with my husband of 10 years / father of my two kids and he is a nice men. I like him a lot and he is a super example of men and father. He forgive me that I left him and the kids for another men and he truly loves me.However, I do not enjoy sex with my husband that much and I am obsessed with my ex boyfriend . I just found out that I am pregnant andmy ex keeps crying that I go back to him and I should get an abortion and marry him; however, I have to leave my children behind too because my husband would have a fit if I take them and besides I can not expose my children to his nuts behavior. I have been suffering but trying to move on cause I am in love with someone that is obsessed about me and controls every move that I make. I have been in therapy and really depressed cause I love this men so much.Anyways, I have nobody to talk so maybe someone have been in my same shoes. I do not have the courage to leave my kids cause they do not have anyone besides me and their dad and their father works sixty hours a week in crazy schedule. I am torn between a crazy love and a love that is beyond sex.My love for my husband is friendship, brotherhood, family and caring and my love for this man is a chemistry out of this World. For almost a year now, I have been fighting this pain of loving this guy but I am completely blind when comes to him and I know If I do not stop talking him I will end up been abused again ….I am blind for him and I even lost myself esteem…that’s why I am doing therapy twice a week.Just to summarize how crazy he is he does not let me work , go to school , talk to people but he has some qualities too.Well, I am trying to be sane again out of his control but I think he put a spell on my brain and heart cause no women would leave her kids and lovely husband behind for an crazy abuser.I am praying everyday and getting as much as help as I can to do not make this mistake but I am suffering a lot cause my love for him is bigger than for myself.
Please, if anyone has been Thur this leave me some help message. I know the truth hurts.
Thank you so much for your kind advises….I know what is right thing to do….I am a RN and I am finishing my BSN… I am going to school now and work on call….My husband is the father of the baby that I am preg…..He is a christian men and is working really hard cause he got promoted to be the district manager of his company….he is not out of shape but not in shape indeed; however, I do love him but in a beautiful away…I know I am not thinking clear regarding this men thta’s why I am in therapy ….he cries everyday cause of me .he does know where I live now cause I feel scared that he will come here and go crazy….yeah, he probably will end doing something horrible with I go back to him and do not follow the rules. I need lots of prayers. I am going back to church this weekend and I will start to look for other things to fullfil my mind cause it seems I am such a empty persson but the truth is I just got caught up in a obsession …
I meant he does not know where I live or anything cause I can not risk my life but I was ready to leave evrything to move back with him again.My hubby and I have great realationship and we never fight or anything.I am glad is still nice people is this World that can give me some sense. I know it is hard to hear the truth but sometimes we do not want to see it. My 2 kids are my world and I know I can’t live without them but I always wish that my family would be with my boyfriend not my husband….so sad cause I want to feel this way about about my hubby….maybe, we are missing the adventure and fun things that we do not do it anymore…tk u for listen !!!
Dear Friend,
Think about it, is Sex more important than the lives and well being of your children? why do you want to deprive them your motherly affection for the sake of few years sex. If you were a child how you would feel if your mother leaves you to live with a guy for the sake of sex?
you are doing great injustice to you, your kids, your good husband.
i only wish you are sane and lead a normal life like any other good mother.
God Bless you, pl help your children grow in motherly love and affection
